Back in Bua Yai

• As the bus drove into my town I was hit with a magical site, a site I once dreamed about……..KFC had arrived back in BUA YAI along with a department store size Tesco Lotus. I now have the option to eat western fast food or buy a much larger variety of food, electronics and clothes!

•  I returned home to a new place as my landlord had kindly moved all my stuff without telling me! Thankfully the new place is an improvement with very strong WIFI and a kitchen area out the back that means I can actually cook some food. The previous owner had left gas and a burner there J.

• Like most people after a holiday they want to get healthy again by exercising and eating well. So I went to the Saturday fruit market where an old lady vendor was struggling with an umbrella in the wind. The umbrella fell so I instinctively dropped my bags and went around to lift it back up. I placed a block on the base to secure it and she thanked me. I wanted to buy some small cucumbers from her and asked how much. It took me awhile to understand she was giving them to me for free! It is things like this that make Thai people and especially Thai people from Esan great.

• As usual on the first day of teaching we ended up not teaching and instead showed the two new teachers around the school and the town. They are James and Dave from the UK and seem like two good lads. The school has a new director who likes to have a clean school so everyone on the first day or two was cleaning and moving documents/furniture around. The consequence of which has made the English department a much nicer place to work.

• Bua Yai festival and community sports week also took place in October and involved the entire main street being taken over by stalls and sporting courts for volleyball, futsol and others. It was really good with amusements and a large variety of different food. I spent a fortune trying to win a soft toy but failed! However I did consume a lot of chicken, pork, smoothies, pancakes, waffles and food which I can’t explain!! There was a great buzz around the town with crowds of people on the main street.

• Without warning and with little time to prepare I had to find and prep two students for an English speech competition, Mod (M5) and Fourth (M1). Competitions are taken very seriously in Thailand and a significant amount of time is put into winning. It is common practice for students and teachers to sleep in the school for a few nights while practicing. I admire their time effort but the approach is not one I would employ.

So I wrote the two speeches and altered them accordingly to the abilities of both students. We started rehearsals on Friday and I came into school on Saturday for 5 hours of practice. Classes got cancelled on Monday and Tuesday so I could work with the two students. It was hard going trying to get them to memorize the speeches, pronounce the words and act a little. I even bribed them with Magnums and Pepsi!!

The competition was Wednesday with a very early 5am start! It’s kind of cold at 5am which is a change. I was pumped up for this competition and wanted to win and show that I had mentored the students well. Sadly I was judging the English projects in a different building while the speeches took place. I finally got the news that Mod had smashed the speech and taken first place. Delighted! Fourth didn’t do so well and stumbled during the speech. That was a pity and I think she was just lacking that drive to win through hard work.

Being a judge at the competition was a new experience that I took seriously as It has to be remembered a lot of effort has been put into these projects and it’s not fair to just markdown any score. There was twenty grading criteria per project!!

The drama plays were interesting. The randomness of the play, the music and storyline literally shocked me! At one point I saw an astronaut and Jesus on a cross up on stage with the Transformers soundtrack playing!!

In the end Bua Yai (my school) won 5 out of 7 events and we are going to the regional competition in January. Lots of work to do!!

• The weekend arrived and once again I had planned to stay in Bua Yai due to finances! But after a few hours Saturday morning it was clearly time to venture out for the day. With Golf’s car this was made a lot easier. I remembered Bustin visiting some ruins not far from my town called Phi Mai ruins in Phi Mai! Off we went, stocked up on snacks. The ruins were pretty cool and only 40 baht because I work in Thailand.

After that we went to some other random place that had tourists but for what and why I don’t know! Maybe some bridge tribute to the King. We took a bicycle taxi there, the first guy wanted 200 baht…. an old man showed up and said 50 baht. This poor guy was old with no bike gears and flip flops that wouldn’t look out of place in a Nazi concentration camp. I was nearly going to get out and push him along! He was heavily tipped for his troubles and he waited to bring us back which was nice. I bought some very cool handmade transformers made of mental and based on the characters in ‘Pacific Rim’ and ‘Alien’.

The best part of the day was driving home. It’s been seven months since I drove a car and I have been itching to get on the road behind the wheel! It was completely illegal but this is Thailand!! Awesome.

• My birthday fell on a Monday this year and it was the first time I wasn’t with my family and Irish friends on my birthday. Normally I would arrange some party or event but this time I did nothing!!

I got a card from home and over 120 birthday messages which is very much appreciated. That morning I opened my door to a card from Helen that she had made as it is very difficult to find birthday cards in Thailand, especially in Bua Yai! I went to school as if it were a normal day but it’s not, I’m 28 years old so I told my classes and they broke out into some serious song!! It was great standing there hearing 50 kids belt out happy birthday!! After work I went home and had asked some friends to join me for dinner. Golf, James, David, Helen and Pum all came.

Now this is where it gets interesting!! Pum shows up with a bottle of Red label and a very large Birthday cake that they had got for me! I was genuinely surprised and delighted to do something that felt like it was indeed my birthday. The meal was very nice in Smiles, coupled with good banter and a few drinks made a great night.

But wait there is more….I arrive home to a very thoughtful and elaborate treasure hunt of clues from Golf that led to a wrapped present in the boot of her car!! Again this was totally unexpected. As some of you are aware I play the odd game of chess from time to time some of which are against Golf online. The present was a very original wooden chess set in a well presented box. It’s very cool!! That pretty much topped off the evening and I am very appreciative to have such good friends around the world and around me now.

Holidays Part 2

With training over it was back on holiday and this time Waller was with me! First stop Full Moon party in Ko Phangan!! I had left Krabi without David as he wasn't up for the bus and I couldn't locate him. Needless to say I was in pretty poor condition from the previous night’s entertainment!!

When I got there I ended up on the wrong side of the Island so took a break in a cafe and used the WiFi. I eventually found my hostel and since I once again didn't have a phone it took a considerable amount of time to locate the other groups and meet David.

It was some sight to see that many people on the beach with fire skipping and buckets everywhere. There was some scary drinking going on for the ext 2/3 days that pushed me past my limits!! On day three we went to Masons Pub for what was meant to be a drink or two but ended up being a full session with lunch and dinner there!! I also bought a cheap phone and many people drew pirate related things on their face as there was a pirate show on that night in a very remote location. At that show two of my friends came running over to me saying “they had just slapped the barman because he slapped them and that they were going to be shot”, me “wonderful well let’s get a move on than!!” The following day Dave and I missed the ferry to Ko Tao Island as it was booked up so we just took it easy and watched some films in a bar.   

Ko Tao is a pretty small Island renowned for its large amount of diving schools. Before this I had said I would do some diving without any research or consideration and after some debate David, myself, Sarah, Max and Charlie decided we would do the 4 day SSI Open Water certified course!! It was great that Sarah and Max had the same plan as David and myself. Max and Fran are going back to the UK which is a pity because they are a great couple and I enjoy hanging out with them.

Day one of the course consisted of three short videos and a study guide sheet we had to fill in.

Day two was more videos and another study guide sheet followed by practice in the pool. In the pool we had to swim 8 lengths and thread water to prove we could actually swim!! At this point I knew I had damaged my body at Full Moon because I was struggling more than I should have been. Next up was the kit (tank, regulator, fins, bc and mask) tutorial which was fine. It’s pretty simple to assemble and dissemble the kit. In the pool we had the full kit on!! We got use to breathing and did some skills such as half mask full, mask full, mask removal, buoyancy, kit off and on while under water, hand signals and some others. The mask skills were challenging at first but got easier. We had great banter with our instructor Nat although I think she would have liked us to talk less and stop asking silly questions!!

Day three was the first two dives after a written exam which I passed (everyone does). I was getting worried as it was something totally new and I didn't know how my ears and myself would react to the situation. We got on the boat which was packed, the instructors each had 5 or 6 students, kits were everywhere and we were preparing our kits in cramped conditions for the first time!! I was partnered up with Max as we both had ear concerns. The kit was on and bang I did the long stride entry into the sea. We gathered on the line with David first to go down, he goes below and seconds later pops up a little panicked due to a flashback of him being forced under water as a child (David got over his fear and went on to complete the advanced diving course).

Max and I as predicted were having terrible ear pain on the way down, having to stop numerous times and move back up a little in order to equalise. I was very conscious of breathing in water or my mask filling up to a point were I felt very uncomfortable and close to throwing in the towel. We did some skills on top of the water (kit off/kit on, two rescue techniques). The second dive we had skills on our knee’s under the water and this was scary. We did the easy stuff, regulator retrieval, sharing your air, buddy emergency accent but worst of all was the half mask and full mask clear. That's when you fill your mask with water and then have to clear it by blowing out your nose. It’s an easy technique made harder due to being down 10m and having fish bite an open wound on my leg!! My turn, instructor in front of me, half clear goes okay not great, full clear I didn't use the right technique, swallowed some water, grabbed the instructor as I was very close to panicking and going for the surface. I did it and calmed down, thankfully. A lot of the credit has to go to Nat because when I grabbed her I was looking right at her and she gave me a look I can’t describe other than it was calming, serious, intense and basically said "you’re going nowhere Jer, do it". I'm not being dramatic, some people find this very easy, I didn't and I won't forget that look.

Day 4 was two very early dives one of which was 18m with full mask removal. I was bricking it after yesterdays mask skills not going so well. I rehearsed on land and talked to the assistant instructor whose advice was very helpful. The first dive was just fun, no skills, we saw some cool fish. However there was many people diving and I couldn't see much at times due to the storm above, currents, bubbles from divers and the fact I am visually impaired anyway!! I got disorientated and had trouble with my mask. Thankfully Kat grabbed me and got me back to the group! I wasn't having fun. The previous day Sarah and Charlie had gotten lost causing everyone to surface and then re-dive so it happens especially in poor visibility.

Skill time, on the bottom, very nervous, talking to myself, instructor in front of me, I wait, go time, nailed it, relief, awesome. We did a few more skills and than for the first time I actually enjoyed swimming around down there. I think fun dives are the way I'll go from here, I've no burning desire to go super deep right now!! My right ear is extremely itchy for some reason and crackling despite not diving for two days!! But I can still hear!!

After a day of rest in Ko Tao it was time to start heading back to my town, a journey I was not looking forward to at all. I said goodbye to David and wished him all the best with the rest of his travels.  Obviously it was great to see and talk to someone from back home. I have no idea when I’ll be seeing Mr. Waller again but I sure will enjoy a pint with him back home.  

I decided to break up my journey with a stop in Bangkok for one or two days rather than do it all in one go. I did some shopping and purchased my 5^th phone in Thailand. It is not a known brand name but it is just as good as my old Samsung phone and a lot cheaper. I went to the cinema which is a novelty for me as I do not have a cinema in my town or one near me that is in English!  

The end to another great holiday!!

Working in Krabi as Tefl Heaven Trainer

After informally meeting some of the trainees on the way to Krabi and seeing them around that weekend I was pretty confident we had a good group of people. The staff consisted of two assistant trainers (Nik & myself), one Thai teacher (Golf) and the main trainer Alex. I was a little worried we would get some lunatics but thankfully Alex and Golf were very fair and I enjoyed working with them and Nik who was in my group when I was a trainee back in April.

On day one I thought I would be a little more nervous than I was but after the first few minutes I found my rhythm. I really wanted to do a great job and genuinely help prepare the trainees as best I could from my experiences in Thailand. Trying to hold back on off loading vast amounts of helpful information on day one was difficult!!

The trainees, from a starting position were better than my group from a teaching perspective which made my job a little easier. There was the usual errors that everyone makes, not gesturing enough, talking too fast, not using simple English, voice projection, activity choice, giving instructions etc etc.

I could ramble on in excessive detail about the whole three week course but instead I will bullet point some of the highlights and things that I want to remember. I've probably left out numerous things and yes severe censoring has been applied!

•Throughout the course trainers fill in numerous evaluation sheets nearly every time a trainee teaches a practice lesson. For the first task I was evaluating my group and made a decision not too criticise the trainees as this was their first graded task and I felt it was important to build their confidence. In hindsight I should have given some criticism so they would know what areas they needed to work on. A few trainees approached me about this which is perfectly fine and from than on, as I would of done anyway I put 100% into every observation form and constructively criticised. The trainees really appreciated my feedback and I could see them working on the things I had mentioned.

•Part of the course is a visit to a Thai school or camp so the trainees can practice teaching in front of Thai children and not just each other. This was a highlight and a turning point for me when I did the course. I could see it was the same for the trainees. It was exciting for me to see them in action and using what they had been taught. It brought me back to how nervous and excited I felt when I did it.

•As a thank you from the camp organisers we were treated to some orientation/adventure activities including an on the ground scramble, a ball passing game attached to trees, a blindfolded mini hike, a rope suspension bridge crossing and a pond swim! We were broken into teams and points were rewarded for chanting your song and for team spirit. Everyone got involved and helped each other. At some points I picked up the Thai kids and ran with them. One girl couldn't swim so I carried her across the pond!! Oh WE WON!!

•As a trainer you have to keep some distance between yourself and the trainees for obvious reasons. This was pretty difficult during the weekends especially when we all went to Phi Phi! That was a great night as the other Phuket course also went and we ended up having a beer pong competition and a plank off. Myself and Taylor were robbed of victory in our bp match due to a caught ball!! Some say Phuket won overall but I'm not so sure!!

•Lots of sickness occurred amongst the trainees with daily trips to the clinic or pharmacy. Three people had blood infections, many had vomiting and diarrhea and even rash breakouts!!

•On numerous days we hit the pool for some water volleyball!! This was very enjoyable and I even had a team named after me "Jerry's *****"!!

•There is some friendly competition between the different TEFL groups and one competitive task is how well a group can make the TEFL HEAVEN letters by using people. Personally I feel we nailed it and that ours was more defined then the other groups!! Heck we practiced the layout and everyone knew their roles!! Am I bias, heck no!!

•The trainees got hold of my adventure camera and took a crazy amount of pictures with it! "Jez you might have some interesting pictures on your camera", "so what like private part pictures?", "ah crap why didn't we think of that"!!

•One of the days I returned to find a pretty clever rhyme on the white board relating to myself. The class did it as a joke and I thought it was pretty funny. I can't repeat it because its vocabulary is somewhat vulgar and my Mother wouldn't be happy!!

•A great day was seeing David Waller, a long time friend from back home and someone who I have travelled with before and trust. It had been six months since I have seen anyone that hasn't been a new friend over here so I was pretty excited to see him. Unfortunately due to the 'letting go' of a team member my working days increased and I didn't get to do much with Dave during training.

•Seeing the improvement in everyone was really satisfying. It felt I had achieved what I set out to do which was to say after three weeks that I am confident all the trainees will be good capable teachers.

•The last day was absolutely brilliant as it involved a quiz, a treasure hunt/task game, a group dinner, a talent show and a heavy night out!! I really wanted to participate in the games but of course I was conducting them!! We had plank offs, stare offs, wheelbarrow race, burst the balloon without using your hands or feet, guess the song, find the balloon with a message in it, make up a rap/poem and the quiz!! The trainees got into it which is crucial otherwise it wouldn't have worked. Keep in mind we are all adults some of which are in their 30s and these are essentially kids games!!

•Getting thrown into the pool by the trainees and playing some beach football on the last day!

I can safely say this three week job was one of the best I've had due to the team I worked with, the location of the job and most importantly the fantastic group of trainees that I had. If things work out I would be interested to do it again as main trainer in April.

TEFL HEAVEN KRABI 2K13

Holidays Part 1

Schools out and its time to do some actual traveling. Here's the thing people who work abroad aren't travelling so please don't say you are because your not!!

•Arrived in Chang mai and met Kaye, Bustin and Larisa. As you would expect I had a list of things I wanted to do and pretty much did all of it! Hit a few Temples followed by lunch in UN Irish bar. After awhile we found the prison massage place. This is were prisoners with sentences under six months train in Thai massage. It was my first one and she didn't hold back, from my facial expression I was clearly shocked at what this women was attempting to do to me! Painful but good. Quick change and than it was a night safari drive near the zoo! This was okay, highlight being so close to giraffes. These were so massive and we were at foot level. Bedtime as a long drive awaited us in the morning. 

•Rant - Getting asked the same boring travel questions time and time again. Granted its polite but seriously someone change it up! "Where are you from?" should be replaced with "have you ever shot someone?" or something!

•Pai - I wasn't to wise about Pai but I am delighted the girls knew about it. We decided to drive by bike to Pai. After some Thai inefficiency (we rented bikes and Bustins bike is literally gone with his bag in it, apparently the bike went to get fixed) we got going but before we left the city we got a little bit lost!

The roads to Pai are amazing, dangerous, fun, challenging and very twisty. I had Kaye on the back of mine which meant I had to concentrate especially when it was raining heavily! After the bike incident last month I really didn't want to crash! We got lucky and had lunch at a really well built resort.

With 30km to go I hit a pothole that blew the back tyre out! This is bad news because if the tyre comes off the rim the bike would not be drivable. Kaye hoped on Kayes bike and I painfully nursed my bike the rest of the way!!

Pai reminds me of a small beach village except there is no beach!! We ate a serious amount of food, I was having two main courses for lunch and dinner. The great thing is Kaye is one for a wee bit of flamboyance so I was happily drinking more wine than normal and we ate a few times in trip advisors number one rated restaurant, ..Witches... We rented bikes and saw a waterfall, had a break in some hot springs at a much cheaper rate because we live in Thailand and thanks to Larisa's impressive navigation skills reached the viewing point.

•Zip lining - Keeping to our adventurous schedule we got the van back and made it for zip lining the next day. It was good but not better than Costa Rica. The abseiling made me pretty nervous as I'm no fan of heights! Kaye departed which was a pity, easy person to travel with who has the balance between having a laugh and being serious. Met a solid character from South Africa and Larisa and I went out for Mexican and a few beers in Warm Up - serious music but too packed.

•Next day was a full day of cooking on Sammy's farm, great set up, different, fun, hammocks! Following day Dante Elephant camp were I got to feed, ride bareback and wash some very large elephants! The trainer gave me the largest female, describing her as "she's a little funny"!! Now I have been on horses, donkeys, and camels but this was extremely difficult mainly because my 3 tonne elephant would not stop moving its head which I'm on (no rope or anything like that) and bending down which nearly caused me to fall off over its head!! I was using my legs so much as grip that even three days after I'm very stiff from using muscles that were idle!! Awesome day, great pictures and an elephant stood on a woman's foot, she is okay!

•On the last day Larisa and I got bikes And had a great drive up to Doi ...... temple. The temple as with most "seen one, seen them all"! Good few steps up. After that I said goodbye to a great hostel and a very helpful Pear!! Larisa went to Chang Rai and I went to Bangkok. I would recommend Chang Mai!

•Bangkok/Kanchanburi - Eventually I got to BBK after some stupid logistics on my part. The mission was to make the United vs City game but that never happened! Thankfully. I knew some of the crew were out and despite being wrecked I felt it necessary to join them especially as I may not see certain people again. Turned out to be a good night. At one point I bought shoes so we could get into a club. Worth it. Music in Thailand is amazing! Good night. Kanchanaburi has great history and in fairness its railway museum and bridge are pretty interesting. Basically I rented a bike and drove to the two museums, cemetery and the famous bridge. I was also looking for a Giant tree but after 2hours I didn't find it, I was close, I did come across a random temple carved into the mountain.

•Bangkok - Got back,  went to the cinema and than we got on it........lost phone = gutted, good result in the match. Following day I was off to The Thailand Open 2013 in the Impact Arena with one of the girls. I have never been to an official ATP tour event and it didn't disappoint. The seats were very good and some top players played. Had some beers and got two matching t-shirts which wait for it... had our nicknames on the back of them. If that's not cool than what is, obviously meant as a joke!! Pretty much laughed for the whole thing! The adventure to get there was pretty interesting and unexpected!! Google maps said it was 15mins away when in fact it was closer to an hour away...time was very tight so we eventually got two bike taxis to the arena and made it for the second set of the first match, relief!! Interesting taxi ride back and a few drinks with the others some of which were crazy drunk.

That pretty much ends part 1 of the my holidays as its time to head to training and than on to Krabi by bus that should take 11 hours!! Funds are dramatically being reduced!!

End of Semester 1

Media kids (my agency) say you are meant to do something at morning ceremony. Until two weeks ago we hadn't done anything. The English director asked me to teach the students a question and answer during morning ceremony to the entire school with all the faculty members. I don't mind talking in front of large groups but I knew the kids wouldn't respond well and felt I was walking up to be road kill! I went with "how was your day?", "My day was fine". Simple, short and in fairness the response was better than expected. However I did have students asking me the question all day!!!

For the end of semester I decided to do a project instead of a test. All 19 classes would do the same project with the winning team getting Irish gifts and certificates of academic achievement which I would arrange with my Mother and the school! Many students are putting in significant effort and it has caught the attention of numerous faculty members. Mam has sent the gifts and I hope they are good enough. Kind of feel under pressure! The project was to compare the difference between Ireland and Thailand and include any references used. The students had a choice of PowerPoint, poster, report, video and anything else they could think of!!

The deadline came and I was overwhelmed by the amount and quality of some projects. Naturally there was some poor ones that somehow thought I was from Iceland!! It was very difficult to pick a winning team and I ended up picking two runners up as well. The winning team of two did a report, a video and a booklet. The marking criteria considered eight categories so you can imagine the time it took to input the data to excel!!

On deadline day I was swamped, students were emailing me projects, handing me CD's/posters/reports and even when I was on my way home there was projects on my bike!! I had given a deadline extension due to the workload the kids have and that caused me to be under pressure to get the grading done as I was on holidays the next day. I announced the winner and runners up on stage at morning ceremony in front of 2,400 student's! I tried some Thai that went down okay but needed clarification by the English director. I hope the students liked their gifts. I was later told no English teacher had ever done a project before! My co-teachers to my delight were very pleased with my work!

On the last day I was asked for the end of semester grades..........I had been doing this but had stopped as no one asked or directed me as too how they wanted them. It turns out I get 30 points which I break up over attendance, mid-term and final project. Keep in mind its the last day and I teach over 700 students who I now have to convert the percentage for each area into a percentage of the marks allocated. I did up an impressive excel spreadsheet but it still took me until 5:30 on Friday and 2.5 hrs on Saturday to complete!! First Saturday in work for a very long time!!

Overall I am pleased with how semester 1 went, I learnt a lot and will be better at my job next semester. My contract has been renewed for a second term and I even got offered two jobs with my agency that I declined so I am doing something right!! I do like the feeling of knowing you just did a great lesson, that the students really enjoyed. Not all classes go that way but a lot do!
That reminds me on Wednesday we had a random visit from a local university! Student teachers had come to observe some classes. Its the last week and I hadn't planned anything other than a few pictures, the project and goodbyes. So there I am when suddenly 25 FEMALE student teachers come in and stand around the walls of the classroom! There is 45 students in this class!! BOOOM I think quick and end up playing a great game that even got the student teachers involved!! I was happy I didn't mess up or get nervous. Pretty much nailed it!

My plan now is to do some travelling to Chang Mai and maybe two more cities before meeting in Bangkok for the assistant trainer orientation. From there I go to Krabi were I will teach the new batch of Tefl teachers for three weeks. It should be good as I am doing it with Nik who I know very well and I'll meet a bunch of new people. During/after that I'll hit some Islands and head back up to kick off semester two! Also I got the news that Mr. Waller himself will be out to see me for a few weeks and give me some well needed back up against the English onslaught!

Ramblings - An Effort to Reduce the Facebook Posts!!

A few things I need to bring everyone up to speed on, firstly a dog robbed one of my pretty expensive flip flops and I haven't been able to find it or the dog. That's two pairs gone in Thailand. That's at least what I thought a few weeks ago!! I found this flip flop in one of the wardrobes hidden for over three weeks!! A prank by an Englishman!

Secondly I managed, through the help of some friends to collect 200 tokens for a 7-eleven softish rollable mat thing. I strolled in there with the gusto of a young FIFA world player of the year only to be delivered a striking blow. The clerk took the tokens and handed me a receipt (keep in mind no English is being spoken), I looked blankly not able to comprehend I wasn't holding my mat. Eventually I realised the advance date on the receipt meant I would have to return for collection over a week away. So that ended the evening of sunbathing and it took me awhile to recover, I think I was just disappointed and disillusioned with life!! Thankfully I have the mat and it hasn't disappointed. I am collecting once again, except this time its for the foldable picnic table!!

As some of you will remember my very first meal alone in Thailand resulted in a tower of beer arriving on my table when all I wanted was a bottle! Yesterday, 30/08/2013 I went searching for anywhere that had the English Premiership on. I tried many places until I finally found it in a decent looking place but unfortunately there was live music being played at a ridiculously high level. I ordered a bottle and what comes out a bloody jug of beer!! At least I now have a place to watch the football. Two weeks have past since the above and the music is an absolute joke, so much so that tonight 14/09/2013 I left at halftime in search of a TV, I saw one and pulled over to a restaurant (Thai style) that was closed with a family (owners) eating a large fish while watching the match. I asked were they open, NO, I pointed at the match and they beckoned me in! Result, the match and no concert like music banging away. I chatted with the family as best I could and even missed the Rooney goal while watching some game the child was playing on his tablet. They said come back anytime and there is another example of the unbelievable hospitality of real Thai people!

Went to the dentist during the week for a check up and cleaning. Thankfully she has a good grasp of English. It had been awhile since I'd gone to the dentist but I past with flying colours' "amazing dental hygiene"!! Total cost plus toothpaste and mouthwash 470 baht or 12 euro!!

It was science week in school so I expected to see exploding bottles and dissected rats but instead they had a show were the dresses were made of recycled material. It was very impressive. Thai's seem to be great with their hands. One girl made a hat out of hong tong boxes stitched together! There was also a rocket show that Harry and I attempted to enter at the last minute. Unfortunately the opening on our rocket was a little to large so it wouldn't fire!! Very disappointing.

The last tour meeting of semester one took place and for some it would be the last we would ever see of each other. I've been in enough groups to know the good intentions to see friends in far away places let alone nearby places is rare. However it does happen and I've had friends over to Ireland and met up with others in Italy and Las Vegas but after one maybe two meet ups its gone and you wont see those friends again. The weekend was..........well its not fitting for this blog but in my view it was a step to far. Every action is not excusable by saying the words "on tour". I did win a trophy for "most on tour" which I worked pretty damn hard for over the last four months to achieve and appreciated it. Tour has been great, people amazing and the banter incredibly consistent!! For those who I will not see again, it has been an absolute pleasure and I wish you all the best for the future. 

Bua Yai Gathering 2k13

As most of you know I tend to host numerous gatherings/parties/competitions every year and just because I am in Thailand shouldn't change that. So after some preparation the weekend finally came with a great but dangerous text from the three lads who said they could come a day earlier. In a way it was like saying here is a million Euro but it will cost you a few days of your life, a willing price to pay for such entertainment.

The lads arrived and we wasted no time getting right on it! Discovering the official 8ft beer pong table was a serious result. It took awhile but I finally got back to some sort of form! Roll backs were played with a Derby match intensity involving gate jumping and cat like reflexes! Dinner in Cat Country, Beers in Pink Panther and some other place I can't remember, bumped into some random students who have yet to say anything! Blackout!

Saturday kicked off with the 4 lads in bed watching the Inbetweeners film followed by some delicious wraps in Tony's and Chewees restaurant. Some beer pong before the first two groups arrived at the same time which saved me making an extra trip out to get them. Next up was Sarah and the last group came really late. Fair play to everyone for making a serious effort to get to my place, hopefully many of you will be nearer next semester.

Beer pong kicked off heavily coupled with the usual tour bant. Jack kindly got me some lunch that in truth was only fit for a farm animal. It was up there with one of the worst things I have tasted or smelt!! Won pretty much all the beer pong games I played which meant some sort of redemption for losing many months ago to two of the lads.

All 14-16 of us went for some dinner and drinks in Cat Country! It was late and we pretty much took the place over with lots of Karaoke kicking off! The owners are very nice in there and didn't seem to mind the horrendous singing!! Next up Pink Panther which was a quieter affair! A fuzzy yet insightful chat with one of the girls followed by some drinking game. At this point I was well past "know the one that's too many"!!

Somehow on the way home a lot of people got split up and lost so I walked and got some of them but than not wanting to walk again I took the bike. That wont be happening again. Memory is severely restricted from this point onwards but I know I was stressed and at one point thought one of the girls was having a fit that stopped after a fart!! Some more beer pong and than I presume I went to bed with the others. Tried to watch some news at 6am only to be put firmly in my place by one of the girls!

Gradually people departed on Sunday which had a weekend highlight, the two lads, myself and the two girls were decked out around downstairs and I can only describe the conversation as hilarious, frank and carried signs of psychologically disturbed people!! I walked them out and the place went from 16 people to 1! I think people in general had a good time and were pleased with the house and outside area. The clean up was nowhere near as bad as back home but it did take awhile! Found a pair of boxers in the pond!

To top the whole weekend off my neighbour pops over to see if I'm still alive and before I know it I'm on the porch having a large beer, eating homemade chips and a burger from KFC (2 hours away)!! Serious result!

Lessons were learnt this weekend, tour has its limits and my house/town is capable of hosting a gathering/party. There will definitely be another one in semester two with less injuries.

Khao Yai National Park - The first Thai Trek

So after much talk of going to the national park we finally arranged the trip. I decided not to meet the crew for a pre-national park night out in Korat because I wanted to save some money and be fresh as a daisy for the park tour. This back-fired in horrendous fashion when I went for a drink with a co-teacher and her Thai boyfriend who I met numerous times and is a good guy. One thing led to another and before I knew it I woke up to my phone ringing!! I was three hours behind schedule and missed meeting a friend in Korat (2hrs away).......MAJOR RUSH as the last bus is at 9.40am to Korat. In a heep, forgot loads of items but not the most important thing, BEAR GRYLLS adventure shirt!!

- Meet crew at Korat, there in the same boat and two members aren't even awake yet! Arrive at hostel. Bustin and I are in a different hotel near the others (what a great decision that was!). Got abuse for shirt and buff!

- Despite being the organiser I was the last to get on the truck!! Randomly stop to see a small snake. Seen, held and eaten so that was boring! Went into a cave, held a creature related to the Scorpion family! More driving. Saw millions of bats exit from the top of a cave. Impressive. Went swimming in a natural spring/pond and held a millipede. Felt weird. Held its back and felt the strength of it trying to pull away.

- Plank Off. After weeks of training for the plank off against an English man who on paper should destroy me it was time in our hungover states to plank off for 2,000 Baht (50 euro). My top time was 12mins 50secs. I really just wanted to beat that. I knew the English lad took the bet too lightly and grossly underestimated me. That coupled with no one really giving me a chance got under my skin a little and made me want it more. Like why would I make a bet for that much if I didn't think I could win!! I was in a bad way after the 4th minute, worse then in training and the English man was solid as a rock favouring to focus instead of my approach of looking around and engaging with those watching. The self-elected referee was extremely bias and was trying to rattle me by imposing warnings which weren't agreed upon and were arbitrary at best. Video evidence vindicates any suggested wrong doing. At the 10th minute there was some desperation but I held out to take the win! Well needed money!

- Food, drink, crazy/strange Karaoke bar! Mags flip flops end up in ditch. The Monk wrestles Claire and I decide to have a few over to my hotel for a wee swim..........WELL!!

- Next morning. Problem. Complaints about swim. Apologised. 20mins into tour and driver says we have to go back and talk to both hotels and the family who rented the private pool that we were in!. Put up a SIGN. Thai family refuse to pay bill. Contract between both hotels in jeopardy, Bustin and I asked to leave, Mountain out of a mole hill. So much hassle because six people for a maximum of 30 mins unknowingly went for a swim in a private pool while the owners looked at us with out protest. When we realised the situation we got out. Thai family saw an opportunity not to pay and that's what caused the whole problem. If everyone decided not to pay due to some unhappiness with a hotel or its guests than no hotel would be in business, absolute jokers! I'll keep the towel, thanks!

- Finally we got trekking, great to be back at it! Some people fell, the river crossing was fun, assisted some of the girls, climbed a few rocks with Craig and was about to jump off them into the base of the waterfall having got the lads to ask the guide but just before I did it they shouted over not to as the guide says there is rocks, those jokers didn't even ask the first time!! Lucky..yes. The best part was when it started to rain heavily, it made it more of a wee adventure. Nice chats. Saw two waterfalls, one of which was in the Beach and the other had 198 steps down to it. Obviously nothing close to the volcano trail hikes or Peru but still enjoyable.

- Dinner, wine, nice chat with Kaye, Karaoke, stomach rub, bed. Monday while on route home I decided out of nowhere to bail off the bus, not even a goodbye, nice pizza! Good weekend and some proper tourist activities

Bangkok - Irish Reunion

When Alan said he would be in Bangkok over the weekend it was a no brainer to meet up with a guy I've seen twice over the last three years since he has been teaching in South Korea. Friday eventually came and off I went once again on a 6 hour crazy van ride were the drivers must be trying to beat their previous time! Crash in these paper transportation vehicles and your dead. Decked my self out at the back as it wasn't busy.

Landed in BBK and to save time got a motorbike taxi, always an experience, I just wish they would consider that my legs stick out more than theirs so those tight gaps you and I wouldn't attempt are much tighter for me! Landed, changed, Soi Cowboy.

Soi Cowboy is an elaborate display of coloured signs and even more impressive females. Although a street that is definitely worth a look it is for all intents and purposes a place for those who either can't or are too lazy to try and have sex. I didn't have much views on the whole thing but after living here it disgusts me to see old, fat men PAYING for beautiful women (on the outside that is). Even young men were proudly strutting around with the Thai girl on their arm....ya didn't earn it......its not real!! To balance this it is COMPLETELY WRONG to assume all Thai women are prostitutes or money grabbers. Anyone who lives here knows Thai people, real Thai people are the complete opposite to what those other women are. As usual it is the few that have tainted the perception of women in this country, especially Thai women with western men, many cases are genuine, don't have such a closed mind.

So that got serious now for the fun stuff;

- We hit a few bars and ended up in a club called Insanity, solid.

- Next day was Jerry's Tour day, mastered the transportation system, saw the impressive Wat Arun and Wat Pho (a very large golden Buddha lying down). For dinner we decided to have some of Thailand's finest steak at Chok Chai restaurant. I got an aged T-bone, touch over done but lovely considering my normal diet of rice or noodles with chicken or pork!! Went to Nest rooftop bar, Londoner, sports bar, Irish bar and some other club!

- I was fine the next day and decided to hit one of the worlds largest open markets, Chatuchuk with 15,000 stalls!! Its unbelievable how expansive it is and very easy to get disorientated. Picked up some fake beats, belt, 9 pairs of socks, 2 adventure buffs and a kebab! After this I somehow had the energy to go to Siam Paragon and Terminal 21 malls. Both impressive in there own right! Quick sushi lunch!

- We had a quick swim and headed out for an Indian at some celebrity restaurant followed by a trip to Lebua tower. At the top is the worlds highest open rooftop bar, Sky bar where the Hangover 2 shot some scenes. The view was very impressive as was the decor of the tower. After a cocktail and numerous attempts to get good pictures amongst the crowds we left. A few more bars and we strolled home but not before a drink at one of those pop up street bars with garden deck chairs. They are literally beside main roads! Played connect four for 100 Baht, took the win, bought another Malibu and orange!

- Monday, I hit the MBK mall in search of a phone battery and I needed to get the phone unlocked. I have never seen so many phones in one place, how they make any money with so much competition is impressive! Made the van with seconds to spare and off I went back to Buayai!

- It was great to see Alan and we certainly had some good chats. He returns home after three years of teaching and it will be interesting to see how he handles getting back to the Irish way of things!

This weekend trip has totally changed my opinion of Bangkok and really makes Dublin look so so small and behind. There is so much to do once your willing to get out on to the streets, use the trains, read the guide book and ask questions!!

Koh Samet - A Survival Story

One of the most anticipated tour weekends was upon us with expectations of grandeur beyond your average weekend. We all began our travel, some considerably longer than others. Be it by plane, train, bus or van we arrived on Koh Samet. Wait wait......some of us decided to have a night out in Bangkok before the early morning of travel to the Island. With no hostel booked we soon got on it along Koh San road. As I walked down, I realised just how crazy it was and how necessary it is to drink while on the road or you'd go mental!

Just like the very first night of tour I got a tower of beer with Paul. We hit it hard.......scenes missing and it ended up with everyone getting kicked out of the hostel to the screams of an angry Thai women! Straight to the bus station, still drunk, get the bus with Danny and whenever you tend to do anything with Danny you can expect it to be entertaining!

Checked into Chillis, had some food and met a few of the others and began what would be a common trend for the week.......DRINKING! I've been rambling on with this one so lets bullet:

•Banner - Jack & Danny had got a large banner made saying lads on tour with pictures of those in Koh Samet. It looked great and is now in a bar hopefully up on the wall and not in the bin!

•Breakfast - A spontaneous committee meeting with Danny that ended up taking two hours and involving a breakfast which included 3-4 beers before 11am!

•Harsh - Nik being cruelly left to sleep on the beach by a co-tour member and waking up heavily covered in bites.

•Regrettable Underwear - unfortunately I didn't have time to fully change before the night kicked off, with the sea there and the urge for some group swimming hard to resist we went in....sadly not anticipating the possibility of swimming I had a very poor choice of ball stranglers on! To quote "it looked like a child thong", "it was like watching two of the most unsexiest people emerge from the sea". They have been destroyed.

•Breakfast  - Nik, Danny and myself went on a ramble and once again had beers with breakfast. Doing this sets the tone for a day because if you stop you will crash!

•A good thing - tour members stopping a sexual assault by decking the aggressor.

•KSS - the majority of tour getting violently sick and having diarrhea, this is actually crazy, I got sick about 13 times in between 4-9 on Tuesday morning, Max was so bad he had to go to a hospital, three others also went to hospital, I received a call from one tour member distraught from being on the toilet pot for most of the day and I have reports that many others who thought they were safe have been inflicted with whats now being dubbed as KSS - Koh Samet Syndrome. It is most likely a bad case of food poisoning that will be over in 12-24 hours once you do the right things.

•Return Trip - I got home at 10pm after leaving the island at about 10.30am on the back of a lot of vomiting and barely any sleep. Others had a much worse experience having to travel through the night and arrive home in the early hours and more or less go straight to school. Some never made it to school, some didn't leave the Island that day!!

•Others - losing two sun creams one of which I bought there and only used once, not getting to jet ski, eating two of the exact same dinners, accidentally drinking sea water and having to vomit it up, note to self don't drink beer in the sea, tour member falling down the steps at the port, remembering more of nights out than normal which was a definite bonus on this trip, and a few short heated conversations which need not happen again.

In short it was another extremely funny weekend with mountains of banter, some good stories, a touch of drama and the realisation that you can push your body to far on tour!!

Pad/Visa/Job

Finally this week I got the green light to move from my isolated hotel room off a highway with no WiFi or phone signal to a two story house in a gated complex with CCTV, phone signal and free WiFi.The new pad has great party potential, its just a pity my town is not the easiest to get to!! I have also got a little balcony and 5 English TV channels, one of which is the Golf Channel.
So on Thursday I get a call to say I have to go to Korat on Friday provided the documents which were sent in the post arrive for me. They didn't until that morning, thankfully! This was short notice and I had mid-terms planned for Friday, the students won't be happy.

I headed off first thing Saturday on a 2hr bus journey to Korat, 15min motorbike taxi to labour office, got work permit, 15min tuk tuk to the mall, McDonalds, 30min motorbike taxi to immigration office, 2 hours of waiting until I'm seen and told I am missing some document, I ring the school on her request, no joy and than I ring my consultant who talked to the official. The official pulls out the immigration manual to discover she was wrong and granted me the visa extension. Oh and the taxi driver was waiting the whole time as there is no taxi's at the immigration office to bring you back. He flew back to the mall with me bracing for impact numerous times. I tipped him 100 baht for waiting and for driving pretty well. 6k day.

Made the last bus by 10mins were a man from my town began to try and teach me Thai, at one point he noticed a cut I had and started rubbing cream on it! Like when I have both earphones in its a good sign I'm not up for conversation, maybe if I only had one in it would be good manners and a possible conversation may happen but not two. I need to find his restaurant as he wants to drink whiskey with me!

After all that I was pretty wrecked but than two things happened. I got two packages from home that had got delayed with crisps, chocolate, a book and some clothes I had asked for, delighted. It gets better while on the balcony having a beer I check my email, boom, I have secured a three week job as Assistant Trainer on a paradise island with accommodation included!
I had to celebrate a little so I went to the best place in town and ordered...... the garlic pig colon!! Dear oh dear Linnane! A few beers, a talk with the owners, a dedicated song to me, an interested waitress and home I went!!

Sunday was very relaxed, bit of exercise, nice chat and coffee with Teacher Helen, haircut which had to be explained with accompanying pictures, lesson planning, book, film and sleep. Ok OK another balcony beer!!

Its been a hectic week with moving accommodation, mid-terms and the visa run but it ended very well with a job, a good pad, boxes from home and a visa extension!! #happy

Teaching the Police!!

Friday afternoon and I was well on my way to kicking off the weekend in Khon Kaen when I was informed I would be teaching the local Police some key English phrases in about an hour! There goes my last bus!

We got to the station not knowing anything really and entered a small conference style room with about 8-10 people, that quickly swelled to 20-25 armed police officers! A little daunting at first but 30 seconds later it was like a duck to water! Did some greetings and than common police commands like, "stop", "hands up, do you have any weapons" and "you are under arrest". My particular favorite was "drugs". They weren't getting it so out comes the wallet and credit card for my demonstration of chopping the drugs and snorting it! Whether they were impressed or not I don't know but they definitely got it!! We had some banter and surprisingly got paid with the experience worthy of a missed bus.

I did make it to KK and the less said about that weekend the better; watch as payment, man demanding 300 baht, two hotel rooms, amazing pizza, one bottle of rum and one shot glass please,  Blues, Rad, U-bar, blackouts, double big Mac, MK, cut elbow, banter #tour #dangerous

Running in Buayai

Its been a long time since those brief adventure race days but one goal was to get the miles back into the legs as I'm now in a job that doesn't suck every minute of potential enjoyment out of my day!! Something I remind myself of anytime the day ain't going well which thankfully ain't often.

So about three weeks ago in the worst physical condition I have been in for years, maybe ever, I decided to run down by the reservoir, a popular spot with the locals! Damn I was slow, stiff, extremely red faced with water leaving my pores as if under pressure! BUT, here's the thing running in my town is what I imagine running feels like for Mathew McConaughey!! Or to put it another way; I'm fully expecting to look around and see the neighbourhood running behind me and if there was a series of steps I'd be Rocky!!

I love running here, the standard is poor so I actually look fit, people are saying hi, smiling, giving me thumbs up (sometimes I am seeing these people six times a session, that's a lot of smiling), one girl keeps dropping the sexy eye, asking how many laps I did, staying around to see when I finish, attempting to chat to me afterwards and I am convinced due to the mass exodus when I stop that the people are running harder to try and beat the Falang (Thai word for foreigner) which only encourages me to run longer!! I beat my time and added a lap today so the legs are nearly there! If I can stay injury free I'll be at my best by August.

A weekend without Busin!

After ten glorious weekends with Paul Bustin the run has ended!! At first I felt lost but after awhile I realised that I had survived 27 years and 4 months without Bustin, surely I can do a weekend; here's how it went. Skyped the parents for the first time in three weeks, had a few drinks in town with the English teachers, met the local Mafia who showed us some weapons, accidentally left a food wrapper in my room which caused an invasion of ants consequentially causing excessive use of 100% deet!!

Chilled out on Saturday and played some basketball with the locals!! Sunday saw the first scooter road trip to Chaiyapum with Mr. Harrison. We kicked off at 7.30am and got there in under an hour. Had a bit of difficulty finding the Zoo but got there! Iv always been a big fan of the zoo and although very small this one was still good especially for 100 Baht. I fed a Tiger and a few Giraffes. Oh I also won a Crazy Bird soft toy for bursting 7 balloons with 7 darts!! Result! KFC and then we got into a nice hotel resort and used their pool before escaping without paying!! Home safe and happy to have done some actual tourist stuff!!

P.S. Bustin and I are doing English camp next weekend so that's 11 for 12 weekends!!

Silly Business

Okay so enough with the bullets for now! Some points of interest, a random woman came into the English staff room trying to sell us an electrical burner! I got some free chicken and popcorn out of it!!

I still can't access my funds due to the continued brilliance of Media Kids, they would never survive in the west. One of their employees text me weeks ago asking for passports photos....TWENTY-FOUR passport photos. I rang to ask why, reply "for safety", "are you on smack, you took a photo at orientation", "oh okay that's fine than". Imagine if I had just went and got TWENTY-FOUR passport photos!!

So due to them giving me the wrong pin they have to get another card issued which means I wont have my card for over a week. Obviously I need my money so they decided to transfer my ENTIRE salary into another teachers account and charge me 400 for the card and 35 for the transaction fee, have you gone BANANA'S! Back on the phone ringing everyone in Media kids until I got someone who actually speaks English in an agency who places English teachers!!! Great lady who sorted the problem out and refunded the money.

Finally moved room so I now have one bar of wifi which is a significant improvement from before!!

A bullet a day for 7 days!!

•11-06-13. Decided to play football with some students during a free period without my shoe's on! After ten minutes my feet were on fire, my socks were ripped and I developed and bust numerous big blisters!!

•12-06-13. While on gate duty a 6-7ft snake was discovered in a bin near the gate. After a few minutes it was caught and bagged. Pretty entertaining way to start the day!! No classes all day due to preparation for teacher respect ceremony! First tuition today with English directors daughter! Got locked in the toilet at school today for 20mins, the handle pulled through the door!!

•13-06-13. Teacher appreciation day today! Ended up sitting on stage in the front row eating banana and coconut balls while the students offered flower arrangements to the director. Afterwards numerous pictures were taken with each of my classes. Strange but enjoyable day! Ended up playing some Thai wooden drum instrument to the amusement of onlookers!

•14-16-06-13. The Khon Kaen Experience. It maybe best if someone else writes an account of this weekend as I have numerous scenes missing! I made the 3.30 bus to KK filled with the usual pre-2k13 excitement. Got some food and got on it pretty hard.......a few hours later and I was in another complete blackout!! I woke up in the back of a pickup truck with my two arms badly bitten and a Thai man handing me my wallet!! Needless to say I was steaming drunk with no idea of how I got there! Not good. To be honest I don't remember leaving the hotel. After an egg and bacon sandwich accompanied with a caramel frap it was time to get back to the hotel. Mall, socks, bar, beers, awesome banter, great seeing everyone, Harlem shake, wine for the birthday girls, thinking I lost my wallet........Blackout! What apparently happened was I went with Larisa to some hotel and proceeded to order the duck while admiring the roof and falling asleep for a brief period of time. A few got tattoos! Sunday, arrive down to see straight rum being consumed, oh crap...after a failed rum run it was on to the beer. Tedious journey home with six Thai teachers and one student on my bus, not what I needed!

•All in all it was great to see everyone although some only for a brief period of time  (my sincerest apologies, proper disappointed about that). A few new faces that may    make it on tour too and a few who will definitely not make it on tour.

•18-06-2013. After the shakes, a poor sleep, a nose bleed and some stomach cramps it was back to work, but I needed to get back on track asap so loaded up on rehydration powder, some All You Need vitamin drinks and a Gatorade!!

Korat Weekend Trips

Been three times, twice with Bustin who I have seen every weekend since I arrived in Thailand and once with some of the group. Highlights; tuk tuk race, tampon banter, ordering McDonalds to the hotel, Moo off (Larisa putting me through a wardrobe, lets take a moment here, "Larisa ill fall right and you take the win", now in Larisa's head she thought, "screw that Jez your going in the wardrobe, kill, kill"), pool day, JD, getting a bottle of Red label in U-bar with Bustin, serious drinking with Max and Fran, Danny appearing in the Dunlop top which I left on the roof in Bangkok, meal at Sizzlers and lets not forget the attempt by myself, Max and Bustin at 8.30am still steaming to try find a golf course! First we ended up at a driving range and got to a course that wouldn't look out of place on the PGA tour!! We looked a mess in flip flops and shorts. They wanted us to buy all the gear from the pro shop in order for us to play!! I than said we would go back and change, this prompted a lift from someone there to the hotel were he was going to wait for us and drive us back. We gave him 100 baht and explained we would make our own way back!! Obviously we had no intention of coming back. Did not see the lift coming, best watch what I say next time!!

That more or less brings you up to the 10th of June 2013. Philosophical thought, life's enjoyment is greatly determined by the people around you. Put me in the Bahamas with head wreckers and it will be a terrible experience. Put me in...The Republic of Yemen with the TEFL Heaven 2k13 teachers and the teachers in my town and its only going one way!! Can't wait for this weekend's adventure to Khon Kaen when the whole group will meet for the first time since training. #Tour!

The Transition; Koh Chang to Bua Yai; Tour to Teaching

Terrible advice from my consultant, moved twice on the first night, modern hotel room with fridge, no phone signal, wifi comes and goes and is weak, safe location, 15 mins from school. It was definitely a big change to go from hanging around with 26 people, sharing a room with 3 lads (tour) to being in a room on your own and not knowing anyone in the town for the first day or so!!

I got a scooter and after a tentative start I'm now flying around town with my blue helmet on! It will be a Miracle if I don't have some sort of an accident on it!! I feel like Jim Carey in Me, myself and Irene! Got a puncture on day two! Thankfully a street vendor prompted (not a word of English) me to follow him to the nearest mechanic.

Bua Yai Town
Small, highlights; Tesco Lotus, Amazon Cafe, great noodle street vendor, reservoir. People; warm, friendly, helpful, funny, refreshing to see a majority of people being so nice. Sure there is nice people back home but not to the same extent. I started running around the reservoir to the amusement of the locals! Transport links are limited. It has most things but they key is knowing were to find them!!

Bua Yai School
The school has about 2,400 students of which I see about 600-700 on a weekly bases. I teach all the 5th and 6th years except for one class. The students are poor at English with the exception of some classes/students. They are much better behaved than the students in Ireland, notably they act their age. Kids are being Kids here! There is an innocence in them that is removed at a far younger age in Ireland. A few students have asked for pictures with me which is probably the closest ill get to a celebrity lifestyle. Everyone says hello teacher as I walk around! Not much sport, kids get a chunk of their hair cut if it is too long and there is a fingernail check at the gate. If your nails are too long you go over and cut them with three nail clippers that lay in a lunch box with some disinfectant!!

Most teachers are welcoming and make an attempt to communicate with us. The wai in the morning has grown on me and it helps maintain some kind of respect between teachers and students, a foreign concept in Ireland. The course director is a lovely woman who gave me her daughters new bike when mine was being fixed, brought me to the police station to get a report about my phone and has got me dinner and drinks. She doesn't have to do this. That's been the only real downer so far. I had some very cool things on that phone and it allowed me to communicate with everyone through the wifi which is important when your living on your own. I got it announced at opening ceremony, put up a reward poster, went to the police and told all my students to keep an ear out. The other teachers have all grilled their students which I appreciate as it was taken from my bike at school.

Someone who deserves a major thank you is teacher Helen! After two years of seeing teachers coming and coming she is still willing at the drop of a hat to help us. Numerous times she's got on her bike and met me to show me a certain place and drove to me when I thought my bike was robbed! Thanks Helen.

Then we have Harrison, the American!! At first I didn't know how to take him but he is a sound genuine guy, very much his own person. On occasion he tries to kill me during training with a big stick and has me doing push-up handstands! Nadine is from Holland and has some very interesting stories! Being a vegan it ain't easy out here but she is trucking on!!

Teaching Experience up to June 5th 2013
Going great, lots of thought going into the lesson plans. Had one failed lesson in week two and was pissed about it so upped my game and am doing everything I can think of to engage the students. 22 lessons a week. Object construction = failed. Zip, zap, boin, Timed board rush, Body-to-body, Follow the leader, Chinese whispers = Success. Good atmosphere in class. A few students strolled in 20-30 mins late, "teacher can we come in", "NO, GET OUT, YOUR ALL ABSENT, GO", done this a few times. My co-teacher hit a bunch of them so attendance is improving in that class. Monitoring went very well. Heat is a constant battle. Exhausted by the end of most days! Motivated one class with a 20 Baht prize. Given gum to good students. Raided teacher Harrison's class with my class running in around the tables and back out in complete silence!! Snapped at the "im fine and you" sentence. Banned it from use when communicating with me and threatened absence.

Koh Chang Tefl Training/Tour

Three weeks. Tour origins. Tour Concept: Anyone can do two or three nights out but can you push yourself to the next level, to tour level. Not everyone can, its a life choice! Thankfully we had such members who made that life choice, to be epic, to be BANTER!

Snorkeling trip which kind of turned into a sleeping on a boat trip, crazy five year old jumping off the boat! Going for a stupid swim to a nearby Island with Larisa, The Monk and Max, lots of rocks!! Elephant trekking on an elephant who clearly didn't want me on it! A wee trip to the Irish bar, awesome food. Swimming with hotel staff, crazy game, Burka's! Being tied to a jeep taxi by Fran and Max deciding it was a great idea to burn me free, it wasn't!! Receiving an unwarranted amount of sectarian abuse including English national anthem, potato jokes and Jacks theory about Bobby Sans "he just wasn't arsed eating". Losing the room key and having to crawl threw the window for days. Cracking the window! Enjoyed a few great meals with Teresa, Charlotte, Sandy, Pete and the Monk, really enjoyed the conversation! The Sid BBQ meal with 6 of us crammed into one car!!  Removing a dead lizard from Dawns room aka the Wife's room. Its tail separated from its body on evacuation! Being disturbed from bed to assist Charo and Tee in a pest search in their apartment. Found nothing. Scooping Best Accent at the end of training talent show, great hosts! Great performances by everyone! The Monk can juggle! Nik and Larisa can sing and Max and Fran need to do their act again cause it is awesome! Well done Larisa for matching me minute for minute on the late nights/early mornings. After training pool beers with questionable tunes being played. The one day of teaching in a Cambodian school was a great experience even when a little girl spat at me and tried to poke my eyeballs out, I strangled her! Exercise lesson, Humble experience.

KC Nights out = Ting Tongs. I could stop right there! Face paint. Shot club, spear headed by its leader, Kaye!! Project X shot, wanted to do that for a long time! Maintaining my commitment to the Harlem Shake dance whilst undergoing crotch abuse, drinks down my pants, facial contact and forced beer consumption, success!! Funky Kebabs. Craig taking on a jeep! Discovering Mr. Bustin asleep in the foetal position on the side of the road only 5mins from his bed! Danny, stage, two ladies and marriage. Door glass kissing! Eating the spiciest thing I have ever eaten from Ting Tongs free food and having to go for a walk to recover!! Keavy`s absolutely unreal stories which made mine look tame and I was once known as coma boy in school!! Listened in disbelief!! Bustin and the foursome! Never ever.....some surprising partner numbers being told. Ear bashing sing songs in the taxi rides to the bars. Being tied to Mags for a wee while and swamping clothes!!

Bangkok

First Ramble. Crazy English man wanting money approaches me, I said no, he starts screaming calling me all sorts of stuff! To which I replied "alright mate ill be off now!" Welcome to Bangkok Jerry!!

First Meal. On my own. Order a class of beer. Got a tower of beer. Wasn't walking away without finishing it. Good start!

First Encounter. Arrive on roof top, meet the Tefl Heaven trainees for the the first time. Wearing what I considered a nice Dunlop Golf top!! They stand up, "we're heading out to Khao San road". "Right so, sounds great ill meet ya downstairs"!! Little did I know that an energetic chap by the name of Max was about. I walked down and heard something like "jesus, Jez your not wearing that out are ya". Not only did I get a nickname within ten minutes but it was the first step in putting me in the running to win the 'Worst Dressed' award!! Damn adventure packing, i'm teaching English not touring with Bear Grylls..hmm that would be cool!!
No one could have predicted the entity that would soon be born from this very group,         tour!

Khao San Road. Crazy. Epic. Dangerous. Tower. Mad Monk. Walking home in daylight with one flip flop on unable to find the hotel. Night two. Arriving back at the hotel in daylight 30 mins before the bus leaves for Koh Chang!! Grab bag and gone. Van + Danny + Lorella and Sarah complaining about the unsatisfactory performance of the male race, sexually = interesting listen + banter, 98%!

Pre-trip!

Firstly, I am aware that the sentence structure, spelling and grammatics are not great in this blog but you don't want to read a book and I don't want to write one!!

Good job, clear promotion, 6,000 increase in three weeks. Not happy, destroyed social life. Meant to teach in Thailand over a year ago but the programme got cancelled, have Tefl 140.

Motto; have as little regrets as possible, to never wonder what if so I decided to go for it! To quote Kaye's mam "twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did".

Left Dublin on the 16th of April 2013, nervous at the unknown, excited at the potential and relieved that I was doing this.