Running in Buayai

Its been a long time since those brief adventure race days but one goal was to get the miles back into the legs as I'm now in a job that doesn't suck every minute of potential enjoyment out of my day!! Something I remind myself of anytime the day ain't going well which thankfully ain't often.

So about three weeks ago in the worst physical condition I have been in for years, maybe ever, I decided to run down by the reservoir, a popular spot with the locals! Damn I was slow, stiff, extremely red faced with water leaving my pores as if under pressure! BUT, here's the thing running in my town is what I imagine running feels like for Mathew McConaughey!! Or to put it another way; I'm fully expecting to look around and see the neighbourhood running behind me and if there was a series of steps I'd be Rocky!!

I love running here, the standard is poor so I actually look fit, people are saying hi, smiling, giving me thumbs up (sometimes I am seeing these people six times a session, that's a lot of smiling), one girl keeps dropping the sexy eye, asking how many laps I did, staying around to see when I finish, attempting to chat to me afterwards and I am convinced due to the mass exodus when I stop that the people are running harder to try and beat the Falang (Thai word for foreigner) which only encourages me to run longer!! I beat my time and added a lap today so the legs are nearly there! If I can stay injury free I'll be at my best by August.

A weekend without Busin!

After ten glorious weekends with Paul Bustin the run has ended!! At first I felt lost but after awhile I realised that I had survived 27 years and 4 months without Bustin, surely I can do a weekend; here's how it went. Skyped the parents for the first time in three weeks, had a few drinks in town with the English teachers, met the local Mafia who showed us some weapons, accidentally left a food wrapper in my room which caused an invasion of ants consequentially causing excessive use of 100% deet!!

Chilled out on Saturday and played some basketball with the locals!! Sunday saw the first scooter road trip to Chaiyapum with Mr. Harrison. We kicked off at 7.30am and got there in under an hour. Had a bit of difficulty finding the Zoo but got there! Iv always been a big fan of the zoo and although very small this one was still good especially for 100 Baht. I fed a Tiger and a few Giraffes. Oh I also won a Crazy Bird soft toy for bursting 7 balloons with 7 darts!! Result! KFC and then we got into a nice hotel resort and used their pool before escaping without paying!! Home safe and happy to have done some actual tourist stuff!!

P.S. Bustin and I are doing English camp next weekend so that's 11 for 12 weekends!!

Silly Business

Okay so enough with the bullets for now! Some points of interest, a random woman came into the English staff room trying to sell us an electrical burner! I got some free chicken and popcorn out of it!!

I still can't access my funds due to the continued brilliance of Media Kids, they would never survive in the west. One of their employees text me weeks ago asking for passports photos....TWENTY-FOUR passport photos. I rang to ask why, reply "for safety", "are you on smack, you took a photo at orientation", "oh okay that's fine than". Imagine if I had just went and got TWENTY-FOUR passport photos!!

So due to them giving me the wrong pin they have to get another card issued which means I wont have my card for over a week. Obviously I need my money so they decided to transfer my ENTIRE salary into another teachers account and charge me 400 for the card and 35 for the transaction fee, have you gone BANANA'S! Back on the phone ringing everyone in Media kids until I got someone who actually speaks English in an agency who places English teachers!!! Great lady who sorted the problem out and refunded the money.

Finally moved room so I now have one bar of wifi which is a significant improvement from before!!

A bullet a day for 7 days!!

•11-06-13. Decided to play football with some students during a free period without my shoe's on! After ten minutes my feet were on fire, my socks were ripped and I developed and bust numerous big blisters!!

•12-06-13. While on gate duty a 6-7ft snake was discovered in a bin near the gate. After a few minutes it was caught and bagged. Pretty entertaining way to start the day!! No classes all day due to preparation for teacher respect ceremony! First tuition today with English directors daughter! Got locked in the toilet at school today for 20mins, the handle pulled through the door!!

•13-06-13. Teacher appreciation day today! Ended up sitting on stage in the front row eating banana and coconut balls while the students offered flower arrangements to the director. Afterwards numerous pictures were taken with each of my classes. Strange but enjoyable day! Ended up playing some Thai wooden drum instrument to the amusement of onlookers!

•14-16-06-13. The Khon Kaen Experience. It maybe best if someone else writes an account of this weekend as I have numerous scenes missing! I made the 3.30 bus to KK filled with the usual pre-2k13 excitement. Got some food and got on it pretty hard.......a few hours later and I was in another complete blackout!! I woke up in the back of a pickup truck with my two arms badly bitten and a Thai man handing me my wallet!! Needless to say I was steaming drunk with no idea of how I got there! Not good. To be honest I don't remember leaving the hotel. After an egg and bacon sandwich accompanied with a caramel frap it was time to get back to the hotel. Mall, socks, bar, beers, awesome banter, great seeing everyone, Harlem shake, wine for the birthday girls, thinking I lost my wallet........Blackout! What apparently happened was I went with Larisa to some hotel and proceeded to order the duck while admiring the roof and falling asleep for a brief period of time. A few got tattoos! Sunday, arrive down to see straight rum being consumed, oh crap...after a failed rum run it was on to the beer. Tedious journey home with six Thai teachers and one student on my bus, not what I needed!

•All in all it was great to see everyone although some only for a brief period of time  (my sincerest apologies, proper disappointed about that). A few new faces that may    make it on tour too and a few who will definitely not make it on tour.

•18-06-2013. After the shakes, a poor sleep, a nose bleed and some stomach cramps it was back to work, but I needed to get back on track asap so loaded up on rehydration powder, some All You Need vitamin drinks and a Gatorade!!

Korat Weekend Trips

Been three times, twice with Bustin who I have seen every weekend since I arrived in Thailand and once with some of the group. Highlights; tuk tuk race, tampon banter, ordering McDonalds to the hotel, Moo off (Larisa putting me through a wardrobe, lets take a moment here, "Larisa ill fall right and you take the win", now in Larisa's head she thought, "screw that Jez your going in the wardrobe, kill, kill"), pool day, JD, getting a bottle of Red label in U-bar with Bustin, serious drinking with Max and Fran, Danny appearing in the Dunlop top which I left on the roof in Bangkok, meal at Sizzlers and lets not forget the attempt by myself, Max and Bustin at 8.30am still steaming to try find a golf course! First we ended up at a driving range and got to a course that wouldn't look out of place on the PGA tour!! We looked a mess in flip flops and shorts. They wanted us to buy all the gear from the pro shop in order for us to play!! I than said we would go back and change, this prompted a lift from someone there to the hotel were he was going to wait for us and drive us back. We gave him 100 baht and explained we would make our own way back!! Obviously we had no intention of coming back. Did not see the lift coming, best watch what I say next time!!

That more or less brings you up to the 10th of June 2013. Philosophical thought, life's enjoyment is greatly determined by the people around you. Put me in the Bahamas with head wreckers and it will be a terrible experience. Put me in...The Republic of Yemen with the TEFL Heaven 2k13 teachers and the teachers in my town and its only going one way!! Can't wait for this weekend's adventure to Khon Kaen when the whole group will meet for the first time since training. #Tour!

The Transition; Koh Chang to Bua Yai; Tour to Teaching

Terrible advice from my consultant, moved twice on the first night, modern hotel room with fridge, no phone signal, wifi comes and goes and is weak, safe location, 15 mins from school. It was definitely a big change to go from hanging around with 26 people, sharing a room with 3 lads (tour) to being in a room on your own and not knowing anyone in the town for the first day or so!!

I got a scooter and after a tentative start I'm now flying around town with my blue helmet on! It will be a Miracle if I don't have some sort of an accident on it!! I feel like Jim Carey in Me, myself and Irene! Got a puncture on day two! Thankfully a street vendor prompted (not a word of English) me to follow him to the nearest mechanic.

Bua Yai Town
Small, highlights; Tesco Lotus, Amazon Cafe, great noodle street vendor, reservoir. People; warm, friendly, helpful, funny, refreshing to see a majority of people being so nice. Sure there is nice people back home but not to the same extent. I started running around the reservoir to the amusement of the locals! Transport links are limited. It has most things but they key is knowing were to find them!!

Bua Yai School
The school has about 2,400 students of which I see about 600-700 on a weekly bases. I teach all the 5th and 6th years except for one class. The students are poor at English with the exception of some classes/students. They are much better behaved than the students in Ireland, notably they act their age. Kids are being Kids here! There is an innocence in them that is removed at a far younger age in Ireland. A few students have asked for pictures with me which is probably the closest ill get to a celebrity lifestyle. Everyone says hello teacher as I walk around! Not much sport, kids get a chunk of their hair cut if it is too long and there is a fingernail check at the gate. If your nails are too long you go over and cut them with three nail clippers that lay in a lunch box with some disinfectant!!

Most teachers are welcoming and make an attempt to communicate with us. The wai in the morning has grown on me and it helps maintain some kind of respect between teachers and students, a foreign concept in Ireland. The course director is a lovely woman who gave me her daughters new bike when mine was being fixed, brought me to the police station to get a report about my phone and has got me dinner and drinks. She doesn't have to do this. That's been the only real downer so far. I had some very cool things on that phone and it allowed me to communicate with everyone through the wifi which is important when your living on your own. I got it announced at opening ceremony, put up a reward poster, went to the police and told all my students to keep an ear out. The other teachers have all grilled their students which I appreciate as it was taken from my bike at school.

Someone who deserves a major thank you is teacher Helen! After two years of seeing teachers coming and coming she is still willing at the drop of a hat to help us. Numerous times she's got on her bike and met me to show me a certain place and drove to me when I thought my bike was robbed! Thanks Helen.

Then we have Harrison, the American!! At first I didn't know how to take him but he is a sound genuine guy, very much his own person. On occasion he tries to kill me during training with a big stick and has me doing push-up handstands! Nadine is from Holland and has some very interesting stories! Being a vegan it ain't easy out here but she is trucking on!!

Teaching Experience up to June 5th 2013
Going great, lots of thought going into the lesson plans. Had one failed lesson in week two and was pissed about it so upped my game and am doing everything I can think of to engage the students. 22 lessons a week. Object construction = failed. Zip, zap, boin, Timed board rush, Body-to-body, Follow the leader, Chinese whispers = Success. Good atmosphere in class. A few students strolled in 20-30 mins late, "teacher can we come in", "NO, GET OUT, YOUR ALL ABSENT, GO", done this a few times. My co-teacher hit a bunch of them so attendance is improving in that class. Monitoring went very well. Heat is a constant battle. Exhausted by the end of most days! Motivated one class with a 20 Baht prize. Given gum to good students. Raided teacher Harrison's class with my class running in around the tables and back out in complete silence!! Snapped at the "im fine and you" sentence. Banned it from use when communicating with me and threatened absence.

Koh Chang Tefl Training/Tour

Three weeks. Tour origins. Tour Concept: Anyone can do two or three nights out but can you push yourself to the next level, to tour level. Not everyone can, its a life choice! Thankfully we had such members who made that life choice, to be epic, to be BANTER!

Snorkeling trip which kind of turned into a sleeping on a boat trip, crazy five year old jumping off the boat! Going for a stupid swim to a nearby Island with Larisa, The Monk and Max, lots of rocks!! Elephant trekking on an elephant who clearly didn't want me on it! A wee trip to the Irish bar, awesome food. Swimming with hotel staff, crazy game, Burka's! Being tied to a jeep taxi by Fran and Max deciding it was a great idea to burn me free, it wasn't!! Receiving an unwarranted amount of sectarian abuse including English national anthem, potato jokes and Jacks theory about Bobby Sans "he just wasn't arsed eating". Losing the room key and having to crawl threw the window for days. Cracking the window! Enjoyed a few great meals with Teresa, Charlotte, Sandy, Pete and the Monk, really enjoyed the conversation! The Sid BBQ meal with 6 of us crammed into one car!!  Removing a dead lizard from Dawns room aka the Wife's room. Its tail separated from its body on evacuation! Being disturbed from bed to assist Charo and Tee in a pest search in their apartment. Found nothing. Scooping Best Accent at the end of training talent show, great hosts! Great performances by everyone! The Monk can juggle! Nik and Larisa can sing and Max and Fran need to do their act again cause it is awesome! Well done Larisa for matching me minute for minute on the late nights/early mornings. After training pool beers with questionable tunes being played. The one day of teaching in a Cambodian school was a great experience even when a little girl spat at me and tried to poke my eyeballs out, I strangled her! Exercise lesson, Humble experience.

KC Nights out = Ting Tongs. I could stop right there! Face paint. Shot club, spear headed by its leader, Kaye!! Project X shot, wanted to do that for a long time! Maintaining my commitment to the Harlem Shake dance whilst undergoing crotch abuse, drinks down my pants, facial contact and forced beer consumption, success!! Funky Kebabs. Craig taking on a jeep! Discovering Mr. Bustin asleep in the foetal position on the side of the road only 5mins from his bed! Danny, stage, two ladies and marriage. Door glass kissing! Eating the spiciest thing I have ever eaten from Ting Tongs free food and having to go for a walk to recover!! Keavy`s absolutely unreal stories which made mine look tame and I was once known as coma boy in school!! Listened in disbelief!! Bustin and the foursome! Never ever.....some surprising partner numbers being told. Ear bashing sing songs in the taxi rides to the bars. Being tied to Mags for a wee while and swamping clothes!!

Bangkok

First Ramble. Crazy English man wanting money approaches me, I said no, he starts screaming calling me all sorts of stuff! To which I replied "alright mate ill be off now!" Welcome to Bangkok Jerry!!

First Meal. On my own. Order a class of beer. Got a tower of beer. Wasn't walking away without finishing it. Good start!

First Encounter. Arrive on roof top, meet the Tefl Heaven trainees for the the first time. Wearing what I considered a nice Dunlop Golf top!! They stand up, "we're heading out to Khao San road". "Right so, sounds great ill meet ya downstairs"!! Little did I know that an energetic chap by the name of Max was about. I walked down and heard something like "jesus, Jez your not wearing that out are ya". Not only did I get a nickname within ten minutes but it was the first step in putting me in the running to win the 'Worst Dressed' award!! Damn adventure packing, i'm teaching English not touring with Bear Grylls..hmm that would be cool!!
No one could have predicted the entity that would soon be born from this very group,         tour!

Khao San Road. Crazy. Epic. Dangerous. Tower. Mad Monk. Walking home in daylight with one flip flop on unable to find the hotel. Night two. Arriving back at the hotel in daylight 30 mins before the bus leaves for Koh Chang!! Grab bag and gone. Van + Danny + Lorella and Sarah complaining about the unsatisfactory performance of the male race, sexually = interesting listen + banter, 98%!

Pre-trip!

Firstly, I am aware that the sentence structure, spelling and grammatics are not great in this blog but you don't want to read a book and I don't want to write one!!

Good job, clear promotion, 6,000 increase in three weeks. Not happy, destroyed social life. Meant to teach in Thailand over a year ago but the programme got cancelled, have Tefl 140.

Motto; have as little regrets as possible, to never wonder what if so I decided to go for it! To quote Kaye's mam "twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did".

Left Dublin on the 16th of April 2013, nervous at the unknown, excited at the potential and relieved that I was doing this.